Lose Yourself

At times I really feel like I'm losing it. As if I'm just steps from going crazy.
Right now is such a period.
I know why, I just can't do anything about it. Not yet.
I will, but for now I just have to wait it out.

I feel so restricted. Stripped of the freedom I used to have.
I can't act out, I can't be myself....and it's all very tiring.
Normally I would turn to my standard form of escapism, gaming,
But... have access to 0 gaming consoles :(
Writing is also a good way to escape reality.
But, quite frankly, lately I'm just too tired and pressed for time to make time for writing every day,
And it sucks. It really does.

Lately I've drowned myself in music instead.
Plug in my earphones, sit on the windowsill, close my eyes and loose myself to my inner world.
It works surprisingly well.
I'll even admit to dancing around the house if (and only IF) no one else is around,
Like tonight, while brushing my teeth, I listened to Can't Hold Us as sung by Pentatonix, and I couldn't help shaking my body a little. It made me so upbeat. They're talented people, so if you have not, you should really give them a listen.

One day I was feeling totally down, like I had walked straight into a wall.
When surrounded by the people I am (one person more like it) this is bound to happen once in a while...Anyways, I knew I was feeling awful, but I felt unable to confront it. I wanted nothing to do with it, and so it all just grew into this great bundle of pent up anger and frustration that kept me from sleeping.
That's when I happened to come across "Phantasm" by Jesper Kyd. I don't know why, but it cut through all my defences. It was pure, raw, and forced its way in without me having a say in the matter. It stripped me bare until I couldn't hide from my emotions, and I had to no choice but to acknowledge and deal with them. Unsurprisingly I felt better afterwards. If you haven't, do go listen to it. It is a beautiful experience definitely worth 3 and a half minutes of your time.

Music is awesome.
When I have none, it gives me strength.
When I feel unable, it helps me confront my feelings.
When I have to put on an act all day, it gives me a world where I can be free at night.
If I'm going to lose myself, I'll lose myself to music.

Me ja Yö

Kuuletko yön puhuvan?
Se kuiskaa meille vain.
Henkäys vasteen korvaani,
kun maataan rinnakkain.

Yö kertoo pimeydestä,
varjoista päällä maan,
ja käsi kädes hiljaa
sen kaiken kanssas jaan.

Mun sielu tähtitaivas,
sun silmät avaruus,
surut, ilot: aurinko,
sä hehkuva totuus.

Yö ikuinen on kylmä,
sä lämmin elävä.
Luot mielihyvää, rauhaa.
Oot ain sä riittävä.


Vähän vaihtelua kirjoitustyyliini!
Mahtava muusani auttoi taikoa tunteet, jotka muuten ovat minutsa hankala käsitellä, sanoiksi.
Tuokoot tulevaisuus mitä tahtoo, ainakin minulla on aina tämä hetki.