Writing on Writing

Why is some writing so much harder to do than other?

This is a perfect question to ask myself as I am currently writing this text, which is not the text I should technically be dedicating all my time to (my thesis)...

OK, let's be fair. The most probable reason that comes to mind is motivation, or lack thereof. The thing is though, I feel quite motivated to write my thesis, because I want it done and I even have plenty of things I could write. Yet, somehow, I cannot but stare at my almost empty word document, unable to type in even a single sentence that would make sense. Why?
Furthermore, I don't feel particularly prompted to write this either, but somehow the word just keep flowing out of my brain, effortlessly.

This brings us to the second most likely reason, the amount of effort it takes to write a certain text. Writing a thesis is, without question, a tedious and time-consuming process. From time to time it even makes you feel as if a simple click on the delete button could offer you salvation from all your problems (I'm sure I'd regret it the exact same second I clicked the button though, if I was ever to go through with such an act; literal suicide, as my brother called it).
On the other hand, as I am an active story writer, and write something almost every day, background research and spell-checking should be something I am used to. As a matter of fact, I don't even dislike it that much. Plus, I do have an honest and keen interest in my thesis topic, so why is it so hard?

A third reason that pops into mind is distractions. Oh, there is a multitude of things I'd rather do than write this one assignment. Play video games, work on my own stories, watch movies, take a walk, draw, you name it! I'd do just about anything else and yet, simultaneously, I want to write my thesis and wish I had the same drive to do it, but I don't... Why though?
I have even gone to such an extent where I have promised myself not to do any of the things I want, not until my thesis is finished. And, to most part I have actually kept this promise, but still, I make no progress... It's quite horrible really...

A fourth, and final, reason I can think of is the fact that I am "forced" to write the thesis. However, ultimately, it's really all in my hands. No one is actually making me write my thesis; I do it because I want to graduate. I do it for my own sake, in a similar manner to all my other writing, so why is it only the thesis that causes me such problems???

Maybe this is just a phase everyone has to go through when working on a major project...
I don't know, but I wish it will become clearer with time.... I really hope it will...

A Fleeting Moment

From time to time I get utterly and completely enchanted by the beauty of the world. Just for a fleeting moment, triggered by the most everyday things, I get flabbergasted by the extraordinary planet we live on.

This very evening was such an occasion.


I was standing, casually, with my cat on the balcony and looking out at the scenery down below. Now, I live in the city centre, so there isn't much nature around, which only further adds to the sensation of being seduced by the smallest of nature's wonders.

Even though it was almost 11 pm it was still light and because of the heat spell we have experienced lately the air was nice and pleasant. A slight, refreshing breeze caressed my skin once in a while and my cat also seemed to enjoy it as we stood there, leaning out of the balcony window, observing the quiet spring evening.


Then, all of a sudden, the chirp of a large bird caught both mine and my cat's attention, and for a split second the world seemed to change into a place of incredible capacity. A place filled with marvel and amazement.

The wind on my face, the dust dancing in the air, the bird soaring in the sky; for a brief moment it all felt magical, as if the phenomena would be without natural explanations. Even my cat, who is terrified of the outside world, seemed temporarily charmed by the planet Earth and tried to leap out of my lap. Then again, maybe he was just enthralled by the large bird.

And then, before I could blink my eyes, it was all over. The world was back to normal. The cars were buzzing along the highway, my neighbours were laughing on the balcony next to mine and my cat wriggled out of my hold and headed back inside.

But that one moment, that one fleeting, brief period of time, the world, to me, was truly magical.


Every once in a while I feel like this, and every single time I am utterly amazed by the degree to which I can be enchanted by the surroundings I spend every day in. Yet, I am very glad I am able to experience moments like this, and  that I once in a while can spot beauty in normality. It enriches my day and gives me new energy. It is almost as if the world would recharge my batteries, and to think it knew I needed a recharge today...